Harry Potter and the Final Fantasy
by Demonardvark
Summary: Harry and company rush to stop voldemort from summoning the ultimate evil. something goes wrong and Barret is summoned instead. Now he must adapt to life at Hogwarts until they can send him back. Rated m to be safe
1. The summoning spell

**Harry Potter and the Final Fantasy**

**(Do not own rights to Harry Potter or Final Fantasy)**

**Chapter 1: The summoning spell.**

"Expelliarmus" Harry shouted as he cast his spell on a Death Eater. The Death Eater's wand went flying out of his hand.

"Nice Shot Harry" Ron shouted in his nasally voice.

"RON, PAY ATTENTION" Harry Shouted!

"Huh?" Ron looked up to see a Death Eater swooping down at him. "HARRYYYYYYYY" Ron shouted while shaking in his robes.

"Expulso" Hermione fired her spell at the ground in front of the Death Eater causing him to be crushed by rocks"

"Whew. Thanks Hermione" Ron sputtered while trying to catch his breath.

"Honestly Ron" Hermione began lecturing "if you weren't so busy eye fondling Harry, you would be able to defend yourself".

"HEY, HE LOOKED AMAZING WHEN HE CAST THAT….." Ron paused for a second "Oh stuff a mandrake in it Hermione."

"HUSH BOTH OF YOU" Harry interjected "I'm trying to listen". Harry was standing in front of a long, dark, passage. He was trying to figure out what the Death Eaters were doing. "Bollocks, I can't see anything" Harry spoke under his breath.

"Don't worry I'll help you" Ron chimed up with a girlish squeal.

"NO RON DON'T" Hermione shouted

"Lumos!" Ron's wand erupted with a bright light that pierced the darkness of the passage.

"RON YOU IDIOT" Harry shouted.

"Oh god" Ron shouted

"KNOCK IT OFF" Hermione shouted. Ron couldn't remember how to stop his Lumos charm so he quickly shoved his wand down his pants to hide the light. Hermione and Harry both stared at him blankly.

"What?" Ron questioned. Harry just shook his head and Hermione pointed at Ron's pants. His pants were glowing bright white.

"OH NO MY PANTS" Ron shouted

"Well well what do we have here" a Death Eater whispered behind the trio. Before they could react they were all captured and slowly were being dragged down the passage.

"Nice going hot pants" Harry sneered at Ron.

"I'm like a glow worm" Ron giggled.

"Idiot" Hermione barked.

"Shut up all of you" The Death Eater shouted. They reached the end of the passage and were in a large room with creepy statues everywhere. There was a weird green mist dancing about the room and a giant pot that read "Jenova" on it.

"I found these intruders my lord" The Death Eater cooed at a dark robed figure. Harry and company stood defiantly but were suddenly brought to their knees by an unknown force.

"On your knees where you belong eh Potter" Lucius Malfoy spat venomously at Harry. "Or I suppose that should be said to you Mr. Weasley." Lucius glared at Ron.

"Now now, no need to heckle our guests" Voldemort singly chimed in.

"Forgive me my lord" Lucius sardonically replied. Voldemort's lips curled in rage at his insolence.

"My lord the prisoners" The Death Eater inquired.

"AVADA KADAVRA" Voldemort killed the Death Eater with a bold of green light.

"MONSTER" Harry shouted out.

"Oh no Mr. Potter. I'm not the monster. However, soon you shall see one." Voldemort slowly walked around the pot running his finger along the cold metal.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN" Harry shouted.

"You mean you came all this way and don't even know what I am doing here?" Voldemort questioned.

"Whatever you are doing it cannot be good" Harry shouted.

"How right you are Mr. Potter" Voldemort giggled. "Do you know what the name on this pot means?"

"Jenova?" Harry inquired.

"Yes" Voldemort cooed. "It is from this body that we will be able to summon the most vicious creature ever created"

"Dolores Umbridge?" Hermione enquired sardonically. Ron and Harry chuckled.

"WRONG" Voldemort screamed causing the room to vibrate. "He was called Sephiroth. He was an elite soldier that became a God." Voldemort cooed.

"Good for him" Harry sneered. "No matter who he was you cannot bring back the dead" Harry confidently remarked.

"Very good Mr. Potter" Voldemort grinned. "However, we can summon him"

"The Accio charm?" Harry wondered out loud. "That cannot be used to summon people"

"You are right again Mr. Potter" Voldemort began to clap mockingly. "However, this is a very different type of magic". Voldemort lifted up the body of the dead Death Eater and threw it into the pot. "He will make a good sacrifice."

"That's sick" Hermione blurted.

"It's necessary" Voldemort mouthed mockingly.

"We'll stop you" Harry shouted.

"It's too late Potter" Lucius grinned. Before Harry could respond the room began to shake. Dark black fire shot fourth from the pot and a strong wind suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Hundreds of spirits flew from the pot and were wailing an ear shattering sound.

"HAHA ITS BEAUTIFUL ISN'T IT" Voldemort cooed. Suddenly, a bright light shown fourth and the pot exploded. The outline of a body could be seen standing.

"Welcome to our world Sephiroth" Voldemort cheered. "I am your new master"

"ST. What the fk just happened to me" Barret said confused.

"Sephiroth?" Voldemort enquired. This man stood there in tattered clothing. One of his hands was replaced with a rather large gun. He had a military style haircut and a gruff beard. Could this be the ultimate evil?

"How do you know that chicken st $$ ramming $% stuffing Sephiroth?" Barret barked at Voldemort pointing his gun at him.

"I believe the summoning failed my lord" Lucius sneered.

"BOMBARDA MAXIMA" a giant explosion ripped aside one of the walls of the room. Sirius came running in with the rest of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Run Harry" Sirius shouted.

"Stop him!" Voldemort screamed. The Death Eaters and The Order of the Phoenix began to fire spell after spell at each other. Harry and company weaved in and out of the firing trying to reach the opening Sirius made.

"Man what the fk." Barret shouted waving his arms. I was taking an st and then I end up in the middle of a pajama wearing $ convention where they shoot lights at each other".

"Hurry Harry" Sirius barked.

"We can't leave" Harry shouted back.

"Why not" Sirius looked confused as he blocked a spell shot at him.

"We have to take him with us. It's obvious he is not evil. A bit strange but certainly not evil." Harry pointed at Barret.

"You're right" Sirius nodded "You there, Stranger!"

"You talking to me pajama man?" Barret shouted.

"Hurry with us if you want to live"

"Might as well" Barret shrugged and ran after them.

They ran down a long corridor and found a stuffed panda sitting in the middle of the room. Harry and company stopped in their tracks. Barret began to swear.

"It's a portkey Harry" Sirius shouted. Harry and company grabbed on while Barret stood confused.

"GRAB THE PANDA" Harry shouted.

"Why the fk would I do that" Barret shouted but finally grabbed on. They spun around and suddenly appeared in Dumbledore's office.

"Thanks Sirius you saved us" Harry smiled.

"Don't mention it" Sirius smiled. They hugged while Hermione looked on with a smile and Ron whined that he wanted to be in the middle of the sexy sandwich. The moment was dear and precious. Dumbledore smiled happily to see Harry safe.

"ST" Barret screamed and began to vomit.

"Who is our guest?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Voldemort summoned him but I think he messed up" Ron said.

"Clearly." Dumbledore stared "Where do you come from stranger"

"Names Barret, I live in Midgar."

"Midgar, Midgar" Dumbledore walked around puzzled repeating the name.

"Yes you old st I said Midgar" Barret impatiently shouted.

"Do you know of it?" Harry asked.

"No" Dumbledore said. "I don't know where it is or how he got here."

"What shall we do with him?" Sirius asked.

"He will be safest here" Dumbledore smiled. "Welcome to Hogwarts Mr. Barret"

"Why not wash your fking pig? Then it won't be so warty" Barret inquired.

"Headmaster" Hermione interjected. "If he is going to be at Hogwarts what will he do?"

"Why, be a student" Dumbledore smiled, walking up with the sorting hat. "Stand still please" Dumbledore said while putting the hat on Barret's head.

"What's this st for?" Barret bellowed.

"It's the sorting hat" Hermione answered knowingly "It will tell you where you will be placed. Just relax". Barret stood still.

"Interesting interesting" the sorting hat cooed "Not of this world are we?"

"ST A MONSTER" Barret shouted. He grabbed the sorting hat and threw it to the ground.

"NO" Harry started to interject.

"BIG SHOT" Barret fired a giant fireball at the sorting hat. The attack exploded and filled the room with red light. When the smoke cleared the sorting hat lay tattered on the ground and smoking.

"Sorting hat?" Dumbledore inquired. The hat opened its mouth and smoke flew out.

"Shove him in Gryffindor" the hat said and passed out.

"Gryffindor it is" Dumbledore shrugged. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all looked shocked. This crazy newcomer wasn't just going to be in their school. He was going to live with them and be their classmates.

"Oh noo" Ron sniveled.

**Chapter 1 complete**

**1 of? Complete**

**-Demonardvark-**

_**These chapters are a bit long so the updates won't be as quick as my previous story. Also, I really don't know how many chapters this will have. I don't want to be constrained by announcing it early. That way I can give a complete story without trying to meet length requirements. Stay tuned for more. –Demonardvark-**_


	2. Settling in

**Harry Potter and the Final Fantasy**

**(Do not own rights to Harry Potter or Final Fantasy)**

**Chapter 2: Settling in. **

"So, Barret is going to be a student in Gryffindor?" Harry inquired. "How do we know he even has magical abilities?"

"Yeah he might be a muggle" Ron added.

"We must take him to Ollivander's to find out" Dumbledore added. "In addition he'll need robes and books and supplies. Mr. Barret do you have any money on you?"

"I got plenty of Gil but it's for Marlene's future" Barret inquired

"Any Galleons or Sickles" Dumbledore pressed further.

"S^$t old man I already told ya, I got like two thousand Gil and that's it, N I ain't spending it on no frilly pajamas" Barret shouted angrily.

"I'll cover him" Harry sighed. "Sirius, can you alter the portkey to take us to Diagon Alley?"

"Yes, Harry, it is a simple enough task" Sirius waved his wand over the stuffed panda. "There you go Harry it's all ready for you"

"Thanks Sirius" Harry smiled. "You two remain here and try to get his room ready. I'll take him shopping" Harry said to Ron and Hermione.

"Harry, is it wise to go alone?" Hermione interjected. "We still don't know who he is"

"S%^t what's wrong with me?" Barret complained.

"Don't worry Hermione I'll be fine" Harry said patting Hermione on the shoulder. "Come on Barret grab onto the panda" Barret grabbed onto the panda and both Harry and Barret vanished.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Sirius asked.

"I believe so" Dumbledore said quietly. "He may be gruff but the sorting hat did place him in Gryffindor. Therefore he cannot be too bad."

"I hope you're right" Sirius sighed as he stared out the window. "God speed Harry." Harry and Barret arrived in Diagon Alley.

"We're here" Harry smiled. "This is where all wizards come to do bussiness and shop" The alley was bustling with life. Children stood on street corners staring into windows while adults either chatted or shopped at various vendors. "Isn't it great Barret…….. Barret?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Barret moaned as he was hunched over the side of the road vomiting. "D%$n panda b%%^$d"

"Let's get going to Ollivander's" Harry sighed. They walked down the street until they reached Olivander's. They walked in to see Mr. Ollivander looking rather bored.

"My word, Harry Potter" Ollivander smiled. "How can I help you?"

"Not me, him" Harry pointed at Barret.

"Ah, you need a wand" Ollivander smiled holding up a fancy looking wand.

"Why the f%^k do I need a stick?" Barret said. He held up his gun arm and pointed in Ollivander's face. "I have this"

"Can you use magic with it?" Ollivander smiled.

"Sure watch. FIRAGA" Barret shouted casting firaga. The giant fiery explosion flew at Ollivander. He successfully managed to stop the attack.

"Interesting" Ollivander stared at Barret's arm. "You can already use a type of magic with that."

"Not without the materia I can't" Barret held up a shiny red orb.

"Interesting" Ollivander smiled. "Perhaps I can help you, sit down" Ollivander fiddled with Barret's arm for a long time. Finally after what seems hours he was finished.

"There try out the new attachment for you arm" Ollivander smiled happily. Barret tapped his arm and a wand popped out. It was attached in the middle of his arm so he would still be able to shoot with it. "Well go on give it a wave" Barret waved his arm and a streak of red light danced in the air. "A perfect match" Ollivander smiled.

"Not bad at all old man" Barret smiled. Harry was shocked to see a smile on his burly companions face. They left Ollivander's and went shopping for the rest of Barret's supplies. They got everything needed and were walking back down Diagon Alley.

"Well we are done here Barret." Harry sighed relieved. "You know what that means?" A dark look overcame Barret's face.

"The F$%cking panda" Barret sneered. They grabbed onto the panda and were transported back to Dumbledore's office. Harry looked over to see Barret queasy but oddly not vomiting.

"I swear I'm going to kill that thing" Barret grimaced while gasping for air.

"Are things ready?" Harry asked Dumbledore

"Yes, we have everything set up. He'll be sleeping in the same dorm as you and Mr. Weasley" Dumbledore smiled.

"Great" Harry sarcastically remarked. "Come on lets take you to your room" Harry led Barret through the winding staircases and mysterious halls of Hogwarts. They reached the portrait of the fat lady.

"Password" The fat lady asked.

"What password" Barret asked.

"You need a password to open the door" Harry remarked.

"Why" Barret asked

"So, other students from other houses can't get it."

"Bah ain't there any integrity amongst you pajama wearing s$%s"

"PASSWORD PLEASE" the fat lady screamed angrily

"STUFF IT WE ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION" Barret screamed 'Now I am having an f$5king horrible day. I was trying to take a S^$t ended up in the middle of some pajama orgy, got violently abused by a stuffed panda, had some old man mess wit my arm, and I've had to be bossed around by a kid all day. YOU OPEN THIS F%^KING DOOR OR I'LL OPEN IT FOR YOU" Barret screamed waving his arms

"Barret that won't'….." Harry began to interject but the picture moved aside and the path to the Gryffindor common room was open. Barret smiled and walked inside.

"Brute" the fat lady said as he passed by.

"Why did you open?" Harry asked the fat lady

'Don't you know? The new password is pajama stuffed panda" The fat lady began "He didn't quite say it in order but he did say the words in that lovely speech" Harry smiled and shook his head. He was beginning to like his barbaric companion.

"Nice place" Barret smiled while looking around the common room.

"This way" Harry led Barret to the dorms. He helped Barret put away all his new possessions.

"So, what shall we do now?" Harry began but Barret was already passed out on his bed.

"Humph, poor bloke is exhausted" Harry thought. He went to the common room to find Hermione and Ron sitting there.

"Well how did it go?" Hermione inquired. Harry rolled his eyes.

"A bit difficult but everything is done." Harry smiled.

"What classes does he have?" Ron asked. Harry shrugged he didn't know either.

"I have his schedule here and it's not good" Hermione shook her head.

"Why not?" Harry inquired.

"Well he has Care of Magical Creatures and Defense against the dark arts tomorrow" Hermione said grimly.

"What's so bad about that?" Ron questioned.

"The problem is his first class" Hermione grimaced.

"What class is it?" Harry pressed on.

"Potions….. With Professor Snape" Hermione said softly. "In the same class as us"

**Chapter 2 complete**

**2 of unknown chapters Complete**

**-Demonardvark-**


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